I want to stick my p in your. b.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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