Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
