She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
