there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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