Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Is it because I queefed?
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
