I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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