the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize