you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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