i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
