Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
