i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
