Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
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