We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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