I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
They should really pass out barf bags in church
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Randomize
