im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
