absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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