Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
