Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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