It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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