Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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