All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize