You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
