Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Randomize
