just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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