i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
