I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
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Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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