dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
