I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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