he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
