It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
