i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
