Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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