just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
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