you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
