Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
