if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm at about main and main street
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
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