you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
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