Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
