Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
