I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
