Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize