I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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