You're my little dorito
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
