You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
