Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
