does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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