yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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