You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
