I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
