I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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