I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
this beer tastes like vomit already
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Randomize
