dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
