I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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