walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
