I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
