We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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