Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize