Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
