That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
