and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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