____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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